In Memory of My oldest Sister


Beth was 9 years old here this picture was taken in 1970, She died a woman and I am not sure her age thin

My bigPat sis Patricia was my oldest sibling; she was 7 years older than me. I guess the one thing I hate is that I did not let her into my life-like I should have, it seemed like we were always fighting with each other in fact most of the memories I do have is that we would knock each other through the sheet rock, poor dad it seemed like every time we would move it would not be long before she shoved me or I would shove her and another hole would show up in the wall. I was the baby of the family and the only boy and I guess I was spoiled I am sure that a lot of times when Pat would not let me do something, it was that she had my best interest at heart but I am sure I looked at it as she was just trying to boss me around.

I truly don’t know how old she was when she married George and then she started having kids, it seems like I remember them talking about birth control pills, this might have been when they first came out but before too long she would be pregnant again she ended up with 5 children in all, They moved away and I don’t remember seeing them that often after that, I know for some reason just being around George scared me so I would try to stay away as much as I could. I never got to know my nieces and nephews that well either, but that was my fault not theirs. After I was married I remember we had Beth, and Sherry stay over so I got to know them a little better. I remember she lost one baby and Beth died a young death after getting a blood clot after a leg injury. I just cannot imagine losing one of my kids so I know that had to be very hard on her, we went to the funeral for Beth and could see the hurt in the whole family but if I had known my big sister better I would have known the real hurt she was in. I have no idea why George and Pat separated and divorced, but after that I rely never saw George that much.

Speaking of getting married, it was after my car wreck and I had gotten some money from the insurance and Charlotte and I were about to get married. Pat called and told me she would love to come to the wedding but that the kids need some new clothes and she was about to lose their cars, so could she borrow some money to pay off the cars and buy the clothes so I said ok and gave her the money. To this day I do not know what happened to the money but I do not remember the kids with new clothes. I guess that bothered me for years and any time after that when she asked for any money I would not give it to her, but I finely realized it was not for me to judge and so I forgave her and I pray that she had forgiving me. Also to this day I am not sure what my nieces and nephews thank of me for that but I do know I love them and though it is too late for my sister to hear it I love her also. One thing I have learned is you never know when a loved one will die, so if you have a sibling, or some other person you might not communicate with make the effort to do so before it is too late.

Pat and Bill

Pat and her second husband Bill

After George and pat divorced she met and married Bill, I never got to know bill that well but every time I was around him and Pat it looked to me like he loved her and wanted the best for her.


Our Mom Alice (Dawson) Harbin

The one thing I truly admired about Pat is how for 16 years after mine and her mom had her stroke she was there for mom watching over her and taking care of her. Mom lived with Charlotte and I for a short time and I do not believe she was really happy until she moved back with Pat. After that the only time I would see her was when I would make the effort to go see my mom in Oklahoma and she was living with Pat. Sometimes Pat would call me and say Mom is real bad and that I need to come there, we would drive the 4 and half hour drive and when we got their mom seemed fine, I do not know how many times she did this but sometimes I would wonder if mom was wanting to see me and Pat knew that if she said mom was bad that I would come. Mom passed away in 1998 and that was hard for our whole family and especially for Pat, we would try to stop by when we travel to Kansas to see our daughter. I am not sure when it was but Pat had a stroke and had to live in a nursing home for a while, I felt so bad for her because she looked just like mom when I would see her, the stroke was on the same side that moms was which affected her speech. She died in 2008 so sis I know you are with mom, dad, Beth and your baby, I am looking forward to when I can join you love your brother Jim.


9 thoughts on “In Memory of My oldest Sister

  1. Hey Uncle Jimmy, we have never talked about Mom much but I do know that you loved her, and I love you, and God loves us all, and only He knows and understands why people do the things they do whether we do or not. It is up to us to be forgiving and hope that we are able to be there for people who need us. I love reading your stories. They are great and bring back welcome memories of our past too. Thanks.


    • Lacria thank you for your sweet comment. I fond a picture of your mom and Bill and I updated my blog to show it, I do not have a picture of your dad so if you are someone has a picture and could e-mail it to me or send it some how I can also insert it into the blog.
      Love youall uncle Jim


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